Title: Cookie Jerking
Author: paraboobizarre
Pairing(s): band/chocolate chip cookie
Rating: none really, I guess
Disclaimer: not mine, never happened
Summary: It's one of those movie, 'don't try this at home'-things...
Author's notes: This is just me being silly. Thank you M. and J. for bringing that one up last night in the kitchen - I ♥ you guys!*


“This is such a bad idea!”

“Why? Afraid you're gonna miss?”

Bill huffed in indignation. He considered having a good aim, well, reasonable at least. Then again he was never asked to hit anything specific during jerking off.

Georg was in stitches as Tom rummaged through the bus' cupboards in search of cookies. There had to be a long forgotten box somewhere.

“Seriously guys, that's one of those movie, 'don't try this at home'-things,” Gustav mumbled while watching Tom with a detached sort of interest.

Bill's stomach felt hot and tight with anxiety. He had jerked off in front of others already, namely while sitting next to Tom but that was his twin. That was different, didn't even really count. Now he was supposed to get it up in a circle of the entire band...and hit a cookie when he was done?!

“HA! Found our target!” Tom cried triumphantly, brandishing a battered and bruised looking box of chocolate chip cookies.

“So Ladies, pants down!”

“Explain the rules again,” Georg said, roughly elbowing Bill in the side as he got up and started unbuttoning his pants. “I don't want Bill to wriggle out at the last moment again, like he usually does...”

“Okay, we jerk off and try to hit the cookie. First person to miss has to eat it, delicious protein topping and all. If everybody misses, we're all lucky.”

Tom undid his belt, his tent like pants sliding to the floor to pool around his ankles immediately. Bill eyed the cookie suspiciously. It really was a small target to hit. Unconsciously he took a step closer but was held back by Georg's strong arm almost immediately.

“Hey, no cheating! I knew you'd do something like that!”

Bill shot his friend a venomous glare and hastily undid his belt and buttons. Determined he shoved a hand down the front of his boxers, starting to tug at his dick.

Truth be told, it wouldn't be Bill's first time. Swallowing and all that...though sperm usually didn't come with cookies when he got it in his mouth.

Tom certainly never had and, judging by the intensity with which his brother focused on the crumbling cookie, it probably wouldn't be his first time tonight either.

Gustav neither. Then again, Gustav was approximately as asexual as Bill's grandma...and thinking about grandma (or Gustav for that matter) certainly didn't help with the jerking off all that much...

Georg. Who knew...

Bill watched Georg through hooded eyes, acutely aware that if any of the guys saw him looking there would be endless ribbing, probably till the day he died. His dick was starting to grow hard in his hand and he clumsily shoved his boxers down all the way before picking up his pace.

Gustav still had his glasses on. Irritated, Bill let his gaze wander round the circle, inspecting the tips of everyone's shoes as they peeked out under the rumpled jeans, trying to think of sexy things.

“Shouldn't we have some picture to look at?” Georg suddenly asked, his hand only a blur of motion between his legs.

“Shut up, I'm trying to concentrate.” Tom all but rasped and Bill could feel an indistinct heat creep into his cheeks.
“Besides not everyone here gets excited by tits so that wouldn't be fair...”

Georg just grunted in response and Bill shot his brother a quick, thankful glance. Just the idea of tits turned him off. Big time. Almost as bad as Gustav jerking off and still wearing his glasses. Antonio Banderas on the other hand...

“Oh yeah...” Georg's muttered words made Bill look up. The bassist stared at the cookie, laying in the middle of their circle, with a kind of intensity that made heat flare up the back of Bill's spine. Georg's cheeks were splotched red, his forehead sweaty as he focused on his target.

“No wonder you have no girlfriend when you're done so fast!” Tom suddenly quipped, making Georg lose his focus. A jet of white flew past the cookie to land, almost, on the tips of Gustav's shoes. Only on the second one did Georg manage to hit the cookie. Barely...

Gustav cursed and Bill couldn't help but giggle as Georg started to swear quite colorfully.

“Damn you, Kaulitz!”

Tom managed a breathless chuckle, one of his hands busy as his other one held up his dress-sized shirt. Bill let his gaze wander up the nicely defined six pack, his arousal spiking all of a sudden.
His knees felt like jell-o but he still managed to hit the cookie. Next to him, Gustav groaned, probably half in misery, half because of something else...

“Nice job...Gustav I hope you're hungry...” Tom rasped, taking a tiny step closer into the circle.

...

“We're never ever playing that game again. EVER!” Gustav groused, gurgling yet again before he spit in the sink and Bill smiled, sleepy and content, as he slouched further into the cushions of the dining carrel...

* The idea of soggy biscuit (in German: Keks wichsen) comes from a German movie called "Crazy".
YouTube clip of the scene here (only in German, sorry...but the scene is fun anyways).